News By- BOCA RATON, FLORIDA — The longstanding practice of anesthesiologists having to scratch surgeons in the operating room has now become codified into law. Effective next month, anesthesiologists will face the threat of 5 years jail time and a $100,000 fine if they refuse to rub their fingernails against a surgeon’s body when commanded to do so.
Area anesthesiologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibyankaram relayed his many qualms about this requirement to Gomerblog by telephone. “I’ve been scratching surgeons at their beck & call for years, but now this has gone way too far. I mean, I had a surgeon who demanded that I offer my scratching services to his groin area. It was awkward, even with the use of a sterile scratching stick.”
Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibyankaram continued, “And things can get pretty hairy. One time when I was working on a case with this same surgeon, a patient flatlined on the operating table, and I still had to simultaneously resuscitate the patient, scratch the surgeon’s left buttock, and manage the musical playlist for the entertainment of the surgeon. It’s just too much.”